Not Strong Enough..

Saturdays spent in church activities seem to have been a part of my system until I decided to make some twists. The past few weeks, I tried to build a wall to isolate myself from the world I use to live in most of my life. It was not a very good sign for members of the church and I knew it! I don’t need someone to tell me that before my very face.

Some close friends noticed such changes and some were thoughtful enough to ask me why. Most of them are not used to seeing me acting out of the ordinary (based on how they knew me). They use to see me in church activities guiding a group of young women. Some thought I was strong enough and need not be taken care of. I wonder though if there’s even one who really knew every single detail of who I really am. I was never strong enough! That is why I decided to take the left turn. I got curious about what’s happening on the other side. I am aware that what I was doing was just so against my values yet I thought I should give it a try. Giving myself the chance to find the other side of me and discover things I’m capable of, I began to realize that the other side wasn't really the place I would want my generation settle.

I still long for that happiness I found in the church by obeying gospel principles.